The number two question us soon to be twice over parents are getting these days—right behind “how are you (is Sarah) feeling?”—is “do you have a name yet?” (or some variation thereof). Understandably so as beyond whether it’s a boy or a girl, it’s really the only way for other folks to relate to your unborn baby, be that in a positive or negative way. Yes, it’s sad to think that anyone would ever feel negatively about what we’ve decided to name our child, but people in general are judgmental (I damn sure am) and besides that,  you know that someone out there had a bad experience at some point in life with someone with that name. Hence the ever popular decision to keep the name a secret until the baby is born and it’s an official decree on that legal certificate. We considered doing that with Norah and were able to keep it a secret for a short period, but eventually we’ll just tell our parents turned into we’ll just tell our families and then just our close friends and at some point we just said screw it and told anyone that asked. We were so sure about the name Norah that no reaction could have swayed us, plus who doesn’t like the name Norah? It’s plum fantastic.

This time around we had a bit more difficulty with the name selection. That’s not to say that we didn’t have oodles of names that we liked, but it took us longer to finally decide on the one. People of course had been asking about the name(s) before we even knew it was a boy, but we refrained from sharing our lists because people are more likely to show their true reactions to options. If you tell someone I am naming my kid Fred, even if they think it’s a terrible name they’ll work to hide that because it’s a done deal and no sense in making the parents feel bad. But if you tell them I’m considering Fred, Bertram, Alfie and Stryker, it’s amazing how quickly some folks will jump right into a story about how an Alfie once stole their bike or Fred is the name of their alcoholic uncle.  None of those names were on our list, by the way.

We had maybe ten or so names on our list before finding out it was a boy, but as soon as we did, that dropped to about four. Then we spent a couple weeks adding and subtracting names until we got down to what we thought were the final two. We went back and forth on these two names, discussing everything from meaning to popularity to what kind of personality we thought they implied (because clearly whatever you name your kid is going to define who they are as a person. not.). We started leaning toward one of the two, we were almost certain it was going to be that, but there was something stopping us, something that we couldn’t pinpoint that was keeping either of us from giving it the final, 100% thumbs up. Then we were driving back from brunch with my family and discussing what middle name would work with this first name. I pulled up a list of potential middle names on my iPhone and among such delights as Digby, Jensen and Beckett, there it was. “I really like this one,” Pete said. “Me too!” I exclaimed. And almost instantly we agreed that it wasn’t a middle name. It was the name. We immediately cast aside the name that we thought was our final choice and even started pointing out what was wrong with it. In a way it was this big relief, like we both somehow knew in the back of our minds that our former choice just wasn’t right, but we hadn’t found something else so we thought that had to be it. We were settling, but no longer!

Ladies and gentlemen of the readership, I’d like to introduce you (well, you know) to Crosby Liam Elder.

Elderland out. XO.

Pete is a volunteer soccer coach for the Mebane Youth Soccer Association. There are two seasons every year – Spring and Fall – and each season is about 2.5 months long. During the season he does one practice a week, and for the past several seasons that practice has been on Tuesday nights. I fully support his involvement in this because a) it’s a fantastic program that relies entirely on volunteers, b) Pete played and loves soccer and c) the kids LOVE coach Pete. But all of that said, it sucks not having him home on Tuesday nights. Work keeps me away from the house for about 10.5 hours a day,  so my weeknights are precious family time, especially since Norah came into our lives. I mean, it’s really not all that terrible – he’s home by 8, which means in time to eat some dinner and put Norah to bed, and it’s one night a week for less than half the year, but still. I’m selfish and sharing my hubs with anyone makes me pout. On top of that, I hardly want to spend my limited Norah time worrying about making dinner. I realize this probably sounds absurdly whiney – that being a parent means doing a lot of shit with not enough time and that’s just a fact of life. But the days when Norah actually wants to spend a lot of time with me are certainly numbered and I want to take advantage of them as much as possible. One saving grace in this situation, as in many situations, is having my mom in town. During soccer season she makes us dinner almost every Tuesday night. And on the Tuesdays she’s not able to make something she stays at our house for as long as I need to help me with whatever I need. Have I mentioned how lucky we are to have her here? Crazy lucky.

Tonight was the first practice of the season. Mom made us veggie lasagna (YUM). I got home from work and about 5 minutes later Pete left. The lasagna simply had to bake in the oven, so my dinner duties were pretty much null. After I got one small chore out of the way – trimming the dogs’ nails – I sat on the floor and commenced full on Norah-Mama time. The next hour was one of the best hours of my entire life. We spent the whole time sitting on the floor. Well I sat, Norah alternated between sitting, walking, crawling, rolling around, and of course dancing. She would dance and spin along to whatever song was on Pandora, then come over to me and throw her arms around me and say “I love you”. Then sit in my lap, lay in my lap, crawl all over me, give me a kiss, give me another hug and so on and so on. If I sat any way other than indian style (is that even allowed to be said anymore?) she would say “move, move” and push on my legs to get them back into the crossed position. Once they were folded she’d step into the center of them and again throw her arms around my neck and hug me tightly and put her head on my shoulder and say “I love you” again. A whole hour of this! I felt incredible. I can’t even begin to describe the intense emotional high of this evening and the extreme adorableness of my daughter. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so loved. I wanted to bottle that up, to capture it forever, to never forget a single second of that hour. Of course I cried, I know you’re wondering. It was nothing short of amazing.

This is what it’s all about.

Elderland out. XO.

Dear little boo,

21 weeks! We’re more than half way there. This is super great. Not that we want to rush anything, but we’re very anxious to meet you and Mama wouldn’t mind having her body back ;) . Of course there’s no better reason to experience total physical and emotional uproar than to create a beautiful, healthy, perfect little baby. It will just be nice when you’re out in the world and in our arms. Sleeping and not crying too much, got it?

Two big pieces of news: First, you have a name! You’ve probably heard us talking about it non-stop and lucky you because we’re not telling anyone else yet. You’ve literally got the inside scoop! We’ve known for sure for about a week now and it makes us smile every time we say it. We hope you love it too, but of course you can change it if you don’t. You’ll just have to wait about 18 years. It’ll be right around the same time Daddy lets your sister start dating. We’d like to try and wait until your debut to let the world know what you’ll be called, but chances are we won’t be able to keep it a secret for long. Either way, named you are and though it hardly seems possible, we love you even more.

The second bit of news is that Mama felt you kick! She hasn’t experienced the full on baby dance party that’s sure to come, but she has definitely felt you bump around a bit in there and that’s plum delightful. This is also a bit sooner than she felt Norah, which considering the repeat presence of the anterior placenta lends even more to our guess that you’re going to be a big boy. Mama’s belly is huge – check out those snappies! Norah loves to see Mama’s belly and often pulls up her shirt just to check it out. She points and says “baby!” and “big!” and then “kiss” and kisses the belly. It’s the sweetest darn thing and even though we’re pretty certain she doesn’t actually understand there’s a baby in there, she sure does seem excited about the growing bump.

Everything is going quite well. Mama feels good. Daddy feels good too. Our next appointment is in about a week and a half and it’s just a normal check up, nothing fancy. From here on out we pretty much keep on keepin’ on, and before we know it, you’ll be here!

Love and hugs and big kisses!

-M&D

“Hat” was one of Norah’s first words. From the moment she recognized what a hat was she’s had an adorable obsession with them. When we’re out and about and she spots someone wearing a hat, she has no fear of pointing right at that person and exclaiming “hat!” It’s acceptable and cute now but we’ll of course have to break her of this one day. In our bedroom on either side of our dresser mirror hang several hats and many a time she has pointed impatiently and anxiously demanding that we take them down for her to play with. One is never enough and as her vocabulary has expanded her emphatic “two! two!” has turned into “another one?!”, which is articulated more like narwon. Though not always keen to wear them herself, she has her moments of donning them for extended periods of time and not necessarily when necessary. Grandma Deb got her a pretty flowered fleece hat for Christmas and there was a period of a few nights when Norah wanted it to accompany her in her crib, only for us to come in to get her in the morning and find her standing up, paci in her mouth, hat on her head and blankie in her hands. Too freakin’ cute. And then recently she spotted this stunning blue beanie in a basket at the top of our closet. She pointed and demanded and of course Pete got it for her, and then she proceeded to sport it frequently both in and out of doors. These snappies were taken last Saturday morning while she pranced around the kitchen in her fancy hat, eating a banana. Love this kid!

A little side story on that hat and why we have it. In late October of 2009 Pete and I went on a three day backpacking/camping adventure in the mountains of Virginia on a portion of the Appalachian Trail. Unbeknownst to us at the tima I was actually about two weeks pregnant with Norah! Before we kicked off our adventure we went into this little church run thrift shop and they were doing one of those $5 bag sales where you can stuff as much crap as you want into a normal sized plastic grocery bag and pay five bucks. Well after selecting some sweaters and belts for me and some shirts for Pete we spotted these two wacky blue and red beanies and still had some room in our bag and so why the hell not? I guess we made a good choice!

Elderland out. XO.

This is loooooong overdue folks! First, let me just tell you how much Norah loves her Papa. Ever since we went to San Antonio for James’s wedding back in November she has been 100% head over heels for him. On that trip, my dad picked us up from the airport and this was Norah’s first time meeting him since he came to see us when she was about 4 weeks old. We were in the car for all of 10 minutes when she just pointed at him and said “Papa!” I honestly have no idea where it came from or if one of us had said it and not realized it, but that doesn’t seem plausible since we had only previously called him Grandpa. Whatever the cause or impetus, Norah dubbed him Papa and from that moment on has been his number one fan. So imagine our delight when Papa called us in December to tell us about a surprise visit over New Year’s! He came for several days and we had an amazing time and Norah was ecstatic. Park visits, nightly and naptime book readings, a trip to the Museum of Life and Science, and just a whole lot of good old fashion hanging out made for one helluva visit. Snappies!

We can’t wait to see you again, Papa!

Elderland out. XO.

 

Dear little boo,

Guess what? You’re a boy!! That certainly doesn’t mean much to you right now, but for us it’s stupendously exciting. We’re going to have a son and Norah is going to have a little brother, hip hip hooray! Of course we’d have been just as happy and excited to find out you were a girl, but secretly we were maybe kind of hoping for a boy, so good job ;) . We found out last week at the big bopper ultrasound where they do all your measurements and peek at all your organs and look for that little (no offense) indicator of gender. They revealed that last part pretty early on in the appointment which was fantastic because we were on the edge of our seats and could hardly stand the anticipation. They said, “Okay, are you sure you want to know?” and in unison “YES!” and then “It’s a boy!!” We turned to each other and both had tears in our eyes and I’m totally welling up now just writing about it. Everything else checked out great and the doc says you look big and healthy. You’re measuring a wee bit large, 6 days to be exact, but they kept Mama’s due date as July 9th, so we suppose there’s just a small chance you’d make your debut a little early. Your big sister Norah was 6 days early and that was just fine with us!

You were quite the lively little one in there, rolling around, stretching out, putting your arms up and down and hands under your chin. It was awesome just to watch you move. We did find out that Mama has an anterior placenta again which simply means that we’ll be waiting a little longer than average to really feel you. No matter, the most important thing is that both you and Mama are healthy.

Mama is just a couple days away from 19 weeks (the snappies were Monday) and feeling wonderful. She’s sleeping well, eating tons, and all is mostly sunny in Elderland. Norah doesn’t quite know what’s going on yet – she’s still a bit on the young side to grasp the idea of Mama making a baby – but she can say brother (along with a million other things!) and she does LOVE babies whenever we see them out and about. She points and says baby and gets super excited, so we know she’s going to be ecstatic to have you around. You’re going to love it here in the world and be surrounded by people that simply adore you. Just about 21 weeks to go!

The next big thing? Your name! Daddy and I haven’t stopped talking about it since the moment we found out you were a boy. Naming a baby is kind of a really big deal so we’re trying not to rush it, but on the other hand we’re positively obsessed with making a decision and can’t wait to be able to identify with you on that whole new level. Once we know what you’ll be called we just feel like we’ll know you all the better. It’s hard to explain, but naming you will make us feel that much closer to you (as if that’s possible, being that you’re in my belly!). We’re very, VERY, close!

We love you dearly, little boo soon to be… Here’s a crazy little 3-D snappy of you in the womb!

cute little hand under the chin

Elderland out. XO.

A few nights ago I had one of those remarkably vivid and utterly bizarre pregnancy dreams. I dreamt that I had my baby, that I did so now as in 16-ish weeks pregnant, that it happened in a public place, that the baby was totally normal in size and 100% healthy, and that it didn’t hurt at all. From what I can recall of the dream I was basically sitting there and then it was time to give birth and then I did, in a matter of minutes and with zero discomfort. And then there was some weird breastfeeding moment where my nipples were rather alien like and the baby was not really interested in them, all of which I attribute to my still lingering guilt and anxiety over the breastfeeding struggles I experienced with Norah, but that’s beside the point. The point is the ease with which I spewed forth this new life form.

SO what does that mean and why did I dream about this? I mean clearly dreaming about having a baby while you’re pregnant makes sense, but I do happen to know exactly why I had this particular dream at this particular time and that’s because I recently read this article: The Truth About Epidurals. A good friend posted it to Facebook and of course I’m apt to read anything pregnancy or birth related that crosses my path these days. It was a good article – fairly well written, insightful, informative  - but what I liked most and what inspired me to post about it was the last paragraph:

“Women shouldn’t cave to pressure from either side. They should make informed decisions based on their goals and priorities. I aspired to have a comfortable birth even if it meant being surrounded by nurses and doctors and tubes and incessant beeps; other women may trade pain for a more intimate birthing experience. Each choice comes with its own benefits and unpleasantries. My unnatural childbirth left me with a memory that does not involve intolerable pain, and that’s exactly what I wanted.”

Amen, sister.

If you’ve been hanging around Elderland for awhile you surely know Norah’s birth story, but in case not, a quick summary: I aspired to do things “naturally;” I got a morphine IV after several hours of kill-me-now-pain; i finally asked for an epidural after a couple more hours; they had the shot ready at my back and then checked me one last time to find that I was fully dilated and needed to push; no shot, pushed and screamed, 15 min later, baby out. So in the end I didn’t go completely drug free, but I did experience labor and delivery sans epi. The morphine really didn’t change the level of pain I was experiencing during the contractions, it simply made it easier for me to rest between them (for 30-60 seconds). In the following weeks, heck months or even year, if anyone had asked I would have emphatically declared that I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to line up the shot for number two. Today, 17 weeks into my second pregnancy, I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do.

Let me attempt to explain why I aspired to do things naturally the first time around. The honest answer is simply that I wanted to prove to myself that I could. I viewed getting an epidural as the easy route and going shotless as a challenge. Being my typical competitive, stubborn, perfectionist self there was never a question in my mind as to what my plan would be: bring that baby into the world without getting that needle in my back. That said, I was also well aware that having never experienced labor before I might just change my mind, and fully prepared for the fact that things can and often do go awry, so I welcomed the possibility of my plan being discarded. But minus any complications, it was my personal belief that if I could successfully give birth to Norah without an epi I would have achieved some feat and be proud of myself. I’m sure a lot of people would read that and think it utterly absurd, but hey, that’s me.

An aside…I started writing this post yesterday morning and then put it on hold for other weekend activities one of which was an outing with my coworkers and their significant others. After some fierce rollerskating we went to Tyler’s for grubbage and during chow time my coworker’s girlfriend told me about her pregnant friend in England. Apparently because she is super healthy and not expected to have any complications she must begin her labor on the floor of the hospital (I forget what it’s called) where they simply don’t administer epidurals. Period. Doesn’t matter what you want. You’re in top shape, so suck it up. Even for crazy me who was all about suffering in the name of self-pride that sounded completely asinine. I Googled around a bit in the hopes of finding some sort of official policy and the best I could unearth were forum posts about the National Health Service (NHS) lacking the proper funds to give epis willy nilly and so often witholding them unless necessary. So nothing official, but enough of the same from various websites that I’m convinced it’s true. There’s no such thing as a perfect health care system, eh? An aside to this aside, on the homepage for the NHS there’s a link toward the top that says “How to complain about the NHS.” What a delightfully ballsy alternative to the American “Tell us What you Think” or simply “Contact Us.”

Now back to number two. What will I do? Who knows. I’d like to try again to forgo the epi, but I’m almost certain that if labor progresses slowly and the contractions are as hellish as they were with Norah, I’ll be rolling over in no time. Shot or not, what I hope for above all else is to have a complication free delivery and a healthy baby.

I’ll end with this: if you’re pregnant or trying to get pregnant or even just thinking about trying to get pregnant, and your mind has wandered into the complicated and confusing land of labor and delivery, and you really don’t know what you want, do some thinking and reading and talking until you figure it out for yourself. Educate yourself on the various options, talk to your friends and family and medical providers about their experiences, get your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and then make a decision or plan knowing that when it comes down to it, you may have to throw the entire thing out the window. Because until it happens no one will ever know what “it” is going to be. And finally, don’t ever, ever, ever let your fear of being judged or your worry of what others will think dictate what your birth experience is going to be. This is your baby. Plan it your way.

Elderland out. XO.

I maybe got a little snappy happy this time around…

Dear little boo,

So much has happened in the last three weeks. We had a visit from your Papa (that’s Mama’s dad who lives in Texas), we started a new year (a VERY important year during which we’ll get to meet you!), we took you and your big sister Norah to Florida to visit with Daddy’s family, and we had an exciting second maternity appointment. Why was it exciting you ask? Because not only did Mama get to hear your very strong heartbeat (good job, boo), but she also got to see you again! It’s not typical for them to pull out the mini-utlrasound machine (I’m sure it has a much more technical name) for every appointment, but when Susan the midwife felt Mama’s uterus she said “hmm, are you sure about your due date?” Well, you’re the experts, Mama thought so she said “I guess not?” Out with the machine to do some rough measurements. This time Mama could actually tell you were a little baby and not just a white blob, and she saw your skull and spine and round little head, and boy were you dancing in there! About that head, as it turns out it’s not so little – the measurements that Susan took indicated that you were quite a bit bigger than one would expect at 14.5 weeks, but rather were measuring right at 16! Now, Mama’s not sure how it’s possible to be about a week and a half off, and Susan did say that the mini machine is not super duper accurate and it very well could be that you are just a long baby with a big head, but either way we’ll find out on February 1st! Yes, that’s right, we set a date for the big ultrasound during which they’ll check you out to be sure you’re developing properly, they’ll measure you to confim (or change!) Mama’s due date, AND they will tell us if you’re a boy or a girl. That’s less than three weeks away and we can hardly stand the excitement.

Mama feels great, as long as she gets enough sleep, and right now that means a solid eight hours a night. On the weekends she can usually grab 9 and that’s simply marvelous. She’s getting bigger by the minute and recently had to bust out the ‘ol maternity pants. We suppose being that you might just be a long baby with a big head, you need all the room you can get! But don’t worry if that is the case – your Mama is a long grown-up with a big head and she’s doing just fine in life. Mama’s still your typical irritable, fiesty preggo and poor Daddy catches the bulk of that. He’s being a total trooper though and trying his darndest to keep Mama calm and happy. One way to do that? Give her a sausage biscuit. Her preggo comestible covet is a big breakfast, and sausage on a biscuit tops the list.

We love you dearly little boo and are counting down the days until we find out a little more about who you are and can start thinking of your name!

-M&D

We’re getting there folks! Caught up on snappies that is. This was Norah’s second Christmas and she was much more aware of the excitement and magic. She was also spoiled of course, but it was totally fun for all of us.

At our house, Santa brought Norah a little wooden train set that she delighted in tearing apart and throwing!

And a balance bike that she’s still a wee bit small for but Pete, ahem, Santa couldn’t resist having a bike with a bow on it under the tree. She’ll be using it before we know it!

Then we went to Grams and Grandma’s house where Santa and the bear’s wonderful relatives left lots more goodies for her like a super cool doctor set and personalized backpack. She also got a couple baby dolls, a baby cradle and a baby stroller! She loves kissing and rocking her babies, putting them in their bed to sleep, and pushing them around in their stroller. She also occasionally loves throwing them (I’m sensing a pattern here). Let’s hope she avoids that last bit when this real baby comes along.

One other neato thing she got that has since become a favorite in the Elder house – an inflatable red bouncy horse! It’s from the company Imaginarium and is made out of material similar to an exercise ball (inflates with the same type of pump). As much as she loves her horsey now (and kisses him, and rides him, and drags him around) she wasn’t quite sure after we put her on him that first time. It started out well and ended a little less than well.

Finally, after all the hullaballoo and excitement, we ventured outside for a few more snappies. The gray skies and soft afternoon lighting were perfect and the bear was adorable in her gray cardy, toddler skinny jeans and new chucks. Grandma looks nice too :) .

Elderland out. XO.

I’ve actually got quite a few snappies floating around from the last several months that deserve to be posted somewhere, so let’s play a little game of catch up…

In November we went to San Antonio to attend James (my bro) and Tiffany’s wedding. Hooray for the newlyweds!!

my handsome bro and bed-headed little ninny muggins

papa and the bear

james waiting for his bride

mother-son dance

the happy family

go bear go!

ohhh, pretty

it wouldn't be a wedding without a goofy snappy of me dancing

the old married couple :)

me and ma

Ok, that’s it for tonight because I have to go to bed, but more snappies soon!

Elderland out. XO.

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